Your Script is Too Long

Below is the rough draft version of a scene from my latest script. The main function of the scene is to introduce Ace’s annoying co-working and to foreshadow a medical condition Ace has. And the rest…? sp-ysitl-long-scene-1sp-ysitl-long-scene-2sp-ysitl-long-scene-3a

Here’s the shorter version from draft 2.

sp-ysitl-short-scene-1sp-ysitl-short-scene-2a

Still gets the critical points across, but it’s a page shorter.