See My Vest

I have trouble keeping my pants on.

And I’m not alone.

It’s really a physics issue. Gravity pulls down, but belts pull in. Freakonomics actually did an episode about this a while back. If you, like me, are required to carry around work tools, this can be a serious problem. (Things are about to get a little specific and wonky, but if you want to learn about filmmaking gear, vests, and my own persnicketiness, read on!)

The Things They Carried

This is my regular complement of work tools.

img_6907

All told, you’re looking at 3 pounds, 5.7 ounces. And that doesn’t include the cell phone, car keys, etc.

The first thing I did was try to minimize weight. If you have to carry wrenches around, here are two big (or small?) recommendations. First is the Neiko Mini Ratchet. It does require you purchasing 3/16″ hex bits, and I’d recommend putting a drop of glue on the end to be sure they don’t pop out.

Then there’s the Lobtex lightweight adjustable wrench. Besides being incredibly light, this wrench opens up to an inch, so you can still use it on cheeseboroughs. Those little changes saved me just over a pound. Look at the difference!

img_6900

You do sacrifice some leverage, but it hasn’t been an issue yet.

Strangely, the lightest 25′ tape measure I’ve found just so happens to be my old Stanley at about 13 ounces. I have yet to find a lighter one, and many of the weights listed on Amazon are wrong.

Okay, great. But there’s still the problem of where to keep everything.

The Kangaroo

Most crew members carry various kinds of pouches, sometimes on a second belt. But that really doesn’t solve the gravity problem since you’re still pulling in against something that is pulling down.

 

combo-tool-pouch

(https://vipproductionnw.com/product/setwear-combo-tool-pouch/)

Suspenders

On very rare occasions, I’ve seen people wear suspenders on set. Yeah. Very rare…

The Holster

So then there was the walkie holster. A more common one is the “X-Wing Fighter Command” style.

womp rat

(https://www.pnta.com/scenic/tools/dirty-rigger-led-chest-rig/)

Which does kind of work if you aren’t worried about carrying easily scratched, expensive television monitors and looking like you need to shoot some womp rats.

Someone introduced me to the cop holster, which is either really cool or looks a bit like a training bra.

ush-300l-bus-suit-front views-med-300 dpi

(https://www.holsterguy.com/USH-300L-Bus-Suit-Front%20Views-Med-300%20dpi.html)

But then there was the bigger problem of finding space for all of my tools, which brings me to…

The Vest

I was basically looking for something that had vertical pockets and didn’t look too much like I was goin’ fishin’.

fishing vest

(https://www.dickssportinggoods.com/p/field-stream-mens-mesh-back-fishing-vest-17fnsmfsmshbckfshapv/17fnsmfsmshbckfshapv)

First stop: Carhatt. ($60-$65)

carhartt

(https://www.sheplers.com/carhartt-mens-sandstone-mock-neck-vest-/2000212640.html)

Nice, sturdy vest from a trusted brand. And reasonably priced, too. Strangely, has hand pockets, not vertical pockets, so your tools fall out if you sit down.

Second stop: Duluth. (Clearance $50. Reg. $80)

duluth

(https://www.duluthtrading.com/mens-iron-range-fire-hose-lined-vest-14002.html?cgid=mens-outerwear-vests&dwvar_14002_color=COF#start=2&cgid=mens-outerwear-vests)

Here, we have a winner. Vertical pockets (somewhat) reasonable price. Thick cotton to resist tears and fire. Great success. Unless you’re working on a stage next to a heating duct… (Also, I notice that it’s on clearance, so I’m not sure what will be available in the future.)

Third stop: Chinese vest. ($30-$40)

chinese

(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074Z5RWRD/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

Capitalism, even in its communist form, has a way of funneling things down to “good enough.” There are a handful of these vests sold by different companies, but I have the deep suspicion that they’re all made in the same place.

Anywho, if you’re on Amazon and see a vest with vertical pockets that’s only $30, you’re like, well, why not? Sure it has a sticker on it that reads “Fashion Style” and I had to order three different sizes because no one can just write a chest size on the product, but it’s only $30. Well, after a week of wearing it, one of the buttons popped right off. Then I noticed that the inside pockets weren’t actually stitched into the vest… So, I’d avoid this one.

Fourth stop: Fjallraven. ($135)

fjalraven

(https://varuste.net/en/Fjällräven+Reporter+Lite+Vest?_tu=55763)

This had the lightness of the Chinese vest combined with the durability of Duluth, and, of course, Swedish style. And a price tag to match. It did not, however, require allen wrenches to assemble. Plenty of vertical pockets to keep the tools from falling out (with snaps, not velcro). Sadly, it is rather expensive, but hopefully it will last a long time. I would certainly keep your eyes open for sales.

But now, success at last. I don’t have to worry about my pants falling off. It’s very easy to shed all of that weight at the end of the day (Just take the vest off), and you can even sit on a toilet without getting all tangled up in your walkie talkie cables. There you have it.

Cold weather: Duluth.
Warm weather: Fjallraven.

And as your reward for dealing with all of that, enjoy this:

 

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